phone lovin'

i haven't had sex since the hotel anal incident... thanks for the tips/pointers by the way.
bought a smaller vibe and will be doing some "practicing" on my own to prepare myself for the next attempt.

my drive is still in high gear so have been feeding the urge in other ways. i've never been a big cyber fan...maybe early on when i was still shy and naive, but now the words on the screen really do not do much for me...unless i already have the connection with the person. phone sex, however, does still get me. there is just something about hearing the person on the other end and letting them hear me moan...sometimes i even put the phone between my legs so they can hear my toy or fingers go in and out. it helps put me in that place, that visual place i need to be to really get off.

i have a yahoo screen name just for that purpose...
if anyone is interested or wants to prove me wrong about cyber not being exciting, shoot me over a comment and i'll hook you up with the screen-name i use.

anal frustrations

i do not have much experience in the anal department...one guy i was with was really into anal and i thought i would give it a go with him but he was too big...he did manage to get me relaxed enough to insert my 7" standard vibe in my ass while he fucked my pussy though...i've never seen a guy cum so hard. i could feel his body shaking. but since then, i have had no action in that department until this weekend.
i met him at a hotel friday night...we had the weekend set aside. i brought my bag of goodies including lubes and toys and knew he wanted to try anal with me. i layed on the bed with my ass in the air and my face burried into the bedspread. i felt the lube drip from his fingers onto my warm skin...it sent chills up my spine. first he fingered my ass...they slipped right in. one, then two. i closed my eyes and rocked back and forth, feeling my muscles relax around his fingers...i could feel his hard cock pressed up against me as though it was jealous. he spread my cheeks apart and put more lube on his cock and i felt it press up aginst the hole. he started pushing in slowly and i felt my body tense up almost rejecting it...like it knew what was coming. more lube, try again. more lube, try again. we went on with this for about 15 minutes...he did get it in a bit, but not past the head...it was so tight and i knew it wasn't supposed to hurt THAT bad, was it? i have a high tolerance for pain, but this was bringing literal tears to my eyes, as though i was being torn apart. eventually he stopped trying and ended up fucking me doggy style. i remember feeling his hot cum spurt on my back. i collapsed in exhaustion and frustrationand fell asleep.
are some women just built to NOT take anal??i haven't given up and want to try againany tricks i should know? any special lubes??
h e l p
frustrated ass in illinois

blowing out the cobwebs

it had been 3 months since i had seen "ll"...it was the night i found out abou my son...he was in town and delivering furniture and met me in a parking lot. he held me and kissed me...and contact since that night consisted of sporatic messages now and then through our phones but the actuality of things being how they were seemed dim. last night i was sitting on my couch with a candle on and watching "cinderella" on dvd. i got a text message....."what would you think about me stopping by?"
i responded "that would be fine with me. you know where i live"
i had the nervous jitters but figured it would be nice to at least see him...with no expectations. around midnight my backdoor opened and i heard him turn off the outside light and lock the door. he came in and looked just as he had before with that soft glow in his eyes. he sat his bag down and joined me on the couch
"hi"...his voice was raspy and warm and it sent chills up my spine
"hi"...my voice cracked and i sounded like i was going through puberty
he continued
"so what do you have planned for tonight?"...he looked right at me, our eyes meeting

"well i have no plan really"...he knew i was lying

"so you haven't been fantasizing about this since i messaged you?"...no response from me

he started looking me up and down, as if he'd forgotten what i looked like
"damn your breasts are huge"...i giggled and pushed my face into the couch

"you are wayyy over-dressed and it's a bit difficult to slip my erection into you this way"

even though i was wet already, that did the trick for me as he then leaned in and started kissing my neck...there was this feeling inside of me that practically shouted "FINALLY!"...he started kissing me, eagerly...as though he couldn't wait to get me in my room.
i stood up and took off my shirt and he walked up to me and started sucking on my nipples...they tightened in his mouth and he pushed himself up against me. he slipped off my pants and slipped off his clothes and then pushed his cock up against my panties....
"we've never tried it standing up you know"
he pulled off my panties, spread my legs and squated down.....
his cock slipped right in and i felt my eyes roll back
after a few minutes of that. he pulled out and walked me towards the bed
he layed me down and started teasing me
guiding his cock over my pussy slit
not letting anything more than the head slide in
"tell me you want this" he kept saying
i called his name out and begged him....
my body ached for him
my pussy throbbed for him
he put my legs up on his shoulders and i watched his cock disappear in my pussy.....
it felt so tight, almost like the first time...he fucked me hard and watched my tits bounce up and down
he fucked me and then dropped my legs without warning
and dove into my clit with his tongue
i came all over his face....
i rolled him onto his back and took his cock in my mouth
i took long strokes up the backside of his shaft
dragged my tongue around the head
then sucked his cock down to the base...determined to get him off fast and hard
i looked over
his hand was shaking
trembling
i tightened harder and guided my hand and mouth fast and hard up and down his cock
his legs buckled and instead of pulling him out like usual
i kept him in, letting his cum shoot all in my mouth and down my throat
he looked at me and arched again and shot another load in my mouth
afterwards he told me that the site of me swallowing him was incredible and made him cum so much.....

i kept his cock in my mouth and held it as i heard his breath go back to normal....
i collapsed down onto his chest
he looked at me

"hi...nice to see you again"

another one bites the dust

"A" and i talked about meeting up again to give it another go.
apparently he had a change of heart....

"A": I honestly don't know. I kind of think maybe we should just remain friends and thats all. and nothing else. before we get even toooo deep into it and before we get farther into things than we already are.
"A": I kind of think we would thank ourselves in the long run if we just stayed as friends and thats it.
"A": I don't at all regret anything you and I have done. I just don't think we should do any more but to just be friends and chat on here and thats it.
"A": and as you know I definately don't want to get soo deep into things with you and end up hurting you more. I don't want you or anyone hurt.
"A": i know you probably are pissed, upset, and know what what to think right now. and I would love to remain friends. I do think you are an awesome person and then some. I think you deserve better than me anyways. You deserve a man that can give you more attention and everything.
"A": I want you to be happy. I don't think I could in the long run always be there to make you happy. I'm sorry. I just don't want to cause even deeper hurt and stuff in the long run. so I feel we should only continue as friends and nothing more.
"A": What are your thoughts?
"A": You'll Always be my Rae girl no matter what.
"A": I'm sure you probably hate my fuckin guts right now.
"A": Well I hope sometime soon you still talk to me at least. I don't want to end it completely with you. not saying that at all.
...
i just him ramble on the entire time. never said anything back.

over and out

last week i sent will an email trying to be direct as possible...thinking maybe he didn't know i wanted him...thinking maybe he was waiting for me to be direct...who knows what i was thinking. but this was the response i got.


hello. first off, i hope you had a nice thanksgiving. i would assume you spent it with your family and enjoyed yourself. now, i'm a bit troubled by your note. i think i need to ask you exactly what you are expecting of me. i had thought we kind of understood each other. please> explain. will

...i emailed him back and have decided to just let things go.

did i shave my puss for this?

i left his apartment in st. louis at 7:30am thursday and had to scream along to the radio and make weird facial expressions to keep myself awake. i got to my apartment at about 9:30am and crashed. the next thing i knew it was 5:00pm and i had to leave in 20 minutes for class....for my final. no make-up, was still in my clothes and my hair was messed up like i had wild passionate sex, even though i didn't.....i swore at all the cars, i swore at the light for changing red and i made it to the parking lot at 6pm. as i ran up the steps i thought of that country song "did i shave my legs for this" and instead i hummed "did i shave my pussy for this?"

11:00pm wednesday night....i turned my computer on

me: hey, i didn't get out of class until 9:45pm. we had to finish up the presentations and i thought i should shower up first.....still want me to come over? i won't get there til probably 12:30am

him: it's up to you

me: well if you don't want me to come over, i won't...you seem indifferent, is it too late for you?

him: well i'm still up and will be by then, you're call

him: i want you to come

me: ok i'm headed out

him: drive safe, call me when you get to my exit

me: ok

at 12:40am i called his cellphone and he guided me the rest of the way to his place....