meet the parents

...
i'm probably one of the few, but i must say i am not a fan of the movie "meet the parents".
i remember sitting in the theatre feeling awkward and nervous for him and embarrassed beyond belief. it was uncomfortable and i looked around and saw all my friend's laughing when all i wanted to do was leave....

you couldn't pay me to see that movie again.

...
my phone rang yesterday around 8:45am
"i'm here...you gonna come pick me up?"
"i thought we said 9:15"
"yeah yeah but i'm here now, come get me"
"i'm on my way" i say....." hold tight"

i call to my mom
"mom i'm headed out to pick him up... i'll be back"

i get in my car and drive to our meeting point. i figured it would be easier then making him drive in a city he's not familiar with... i could just picture it (turn left here, turn right at the arbys then go down and then pass the.....)

we talk every day and i see him as often as possible but i still get butterflies in my stomach when my car pulls in the driveway and i see his truck in the parking lot.

i park my car and walk up to his truck and he gets out
(he's so handsome) i think to myself
and when he hugs me, i'm comforted by his smell....

we smile and a kiss is exchanged but nothing else
he doesn't say
i don't say
but i know i'm nervous
i wonder if he is....

we get to my parent's house and i give him the tour and he sees all the embarrassing photos of me as a kid...including my senior photo with me and all my massive curls and my french horn. it's classic i tell you...just classic.

my mom comes down and the introductions enfold
"mom this is ed...ed this is mom"
and pleasentries are exchanged

he and i sit in the living room while she goes in to call my father
a few moments she comes back out
"i hate these hospital numbers..i can't get through to your father's room"
"i'll do it mom"

i get up and call the hospital and a few minutes later i hear his voice
"hellooooo"
it trails off in this weak pant and my heart sinks

"hey bucko, how you feeling?"
"hold on a second rae, let me lay back down....."
"sure thing dad"
i hear him set the phone down and a few grunts and pants later, he picks the phone up again
"hi" he sighs
"hey dad...how you feeling?"
"oh you know....same thing different day"
we talk a little and then i hand the phone to my mom
i go sit next to ed and without blinking he kisses my cheek and takes my hand
and i sigh

"i wish he could be here with us today" i say
"i know baby" he smiles

we get to the church a few minutes later and i do my godmother duties as my nephew gets baptized and the emotion is mixed of happiness and wishing dad could be with us.

as we got to my brother's house, i watched ed with my family...and i sat back and saw him fit right in with them. there he was talking to my grandmother and aunt and my brother's friends and it was as though he had already been here....

he got the drills from my family and he passed every question with flying colors and as we sat on the couch and his arm was around me, i felt so relaxed and proud to be with him...proud to show my family who i was with.

as we got ready to leave, my sister-in-law stretched out her hand and said
"it was nice to meet you"
"you too amy"
"maybe we'll see you again" she smiled
"oh you will... you definitely will"

and out we went...

we drove to the hospital and walked into my dad's room hand in hand
"sorry i can't do a song and dance for you" my dad smiled in his weakened state
"i expect a raincheck"

we all talked for a few minutes
i gave my dad a kiss on the cheek
"i'll see you tomorrow dad"

i drove him back to his truck
we kissed and hugged
"thank you for today....you were great"
"so were you...thanks for letting me come"

"i'll see you tomorrow...after i see my dad i'll head up to chicago"
"it will be great sleeping next to you again baby"
"i know......"

another kiss was exchanged and his car went one way and mine the other.....

and as i sit and type this i have butterflies again knowing i'll soon be back with him in his arms

and real life really doesn't have to be like the movies :-)

an old friend

...
i put this blog to rest for a while for a combination of reastons
mainly that i didn't feel i had much to write
i was getting tired of writing
and my everyday personal life was needing attention

but somehow i have found my way back
back to an old friend
maybe temporarily
maybe permanently
i'm not sure yet

but for right now, here i am....

i haven't had sex in i'm not even sure how long now...
months....

but i am seeing someone
have been since before christmas but haven't talked about it for once again a few reasons
1. i wasn't so sure if i was ready to start dating again after steve
2. i wasn't quite sure how it would all pan out
3. i just didn't feel like explaining it all

but the more time passes, the more i realize it's coming upon the time where i shouldn't hide it anymore...

it's not like he's some horrible person that i'm ashamed of but he's definitely not someone i would have pictured me dating...

he's older than me (by 20 years)
he is shorter than me
smaller than me
and he lives about 3 hours from me

but his name was given to me by a friend
and on a fluke i said he could call me
and we met and have been meeting now for over a month...

we haven't slept together and for the first time, that has felt like a blessing.
i'm just enjoying him
he's enjoying me
and we are seeing where this may lead us

but i must say that waking up next to him in bed has been an amazing feeling

and the kisses aren't so bad either